but i just think a 16 year old has no business entertaining guests of the opposite gender at 10:00 pm in her bedroom. frankly, i see no reason for her to entertain guests of the opposite gender in her bedroom at any time.

had a huge blow-out last night with the niece who lives here with my parents. her name is erin. she's here because my parents were worried when she lived with her mother (my sister Jayme) and would go away for weekends and even weeks with her boyfriend. i hear she broke up with the 22 year old college student. yay. no. what's next? that's what we have to look forward to.

she believes that she is on an equal footing with me and i need to earn her respect. she actually told me that. she also interrupts and gets louder and louder and louder until she says everything she wants to say.

i really just can't deal with this shit and don't need it. i'm thinking of just getting a local apartment, but then i think, why the fuck should i pay rent here when i could be where i want to be? it sucks, but there you have it. i want to be back in California with no bugs, warm weather, and friends who love me.

no on in California, even the douche aircraft carrier, ever yelled at me like that. . . i just feel so shattered right now.

*hugs self*

so ken finally did it. called me a nasty name. don't believe he's ever done it before! *lmao*

i am the Queen Bitch of Denial. i wonder how long that's been stewing or how many cyber girls he's told that story to.

fuck him.

i gotta find a new place to live. he gave me 2 weeks yesterday but i'd like to be out much sooner.

thing is i'm dizzy and can't drive for 2 weeks, so must rely on the mercy of my friends. . . and the internet and phone!

fuck you, world. just stop for a second so i can get off this rock.

*barfs*

i'm sick of you and your shit!!!


GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey, if you're not seeing my posts any more it's because you haven't signed up as my friend yet.

heh. what gives?

so i'm making everything private so that i can just say whatever and not worry about freaking people out.

friend me, will ya?

oh yeah, forgot to ask.

if you have a good lead on an apartment, please let me know. i'd prefer 2 bedrooms but will take even a studio. want to stay in Silicon Valley.

help!?

thanks!

kimber

Ken, my roommate, got a cold about a week ago.  it hasn't been too bad since i bought a bunch of medicine and begged him to take it.  but, now my throat is hurting and i've been sniffy.  it's been on and off all week and i'm oh so scared about getting any type of infection going in my lungs.  i confess i've never been into journaling.  i mean, well, i've started quite a few paper journals and dropped them after a few days.  even when on orders to journal daily (isn't that redundant?) i often found myself writing make-up entries once or twice a week.  but writing online is so much easier on my hands.  it's refreshing to be doing this.  i've expressed some things i would be loathe to open up about in person with anyone - but after writing them here, talking about them doesn't seem so bad after all.  i hope this will help me to quiet the clown and open up in a more authentic manner to the people around me.