You are here
i am there
W/we are with each other
Connected by the miles
Connected by the heart

Filaments of connection, intertwined synapses of light
and heat
pain and promise

i am there in Your hand when You look down
You are here in my heart when i look in
i feel the pulse of Your need
to posses me
to own me
to care for me
to protect me

You hear my need
to serve You
to touch You
to trust You
to find myself loving You

i can hear You
in my heart
"Pet, I need You-
have fun" in Your voice
in my chest

i send my own prayers
on the wind, through the miles
"Sir, i need You
be patient'
and cannot break
the connection
long after You have left my sight

You do not leave my heart
You are growing into it
one tendril at a time
One look at a time
Each caress leaves
new pieces
of You in me
and me in You

Your soul speaks to  me
and i can hear You
in my heart.





Dec 25th, 2009
9:10 am
His pet, shadow

There is a reason i can toast the night
and trace the stars
and kiss the rain
There is a reason i can smile
at children
play Santa
kiss strangers
There is a reason
i can watch the moon
and sleep deep
and why i dance in the shower
and on the street
and in the malls
and at the park
and i spin and spin and spin
for no reason at all

the reason is You.


Merry Christmas, from Your pet
Dec 25th, 1 am
shadow

i fly when He is here, and i float down when He leaves, and i am an unabashed child about it all.
He is so damned good for me, TO me.
Today He brought ME a Christmas present... spiritual, special, cared for by Him and planned out.
A gentle ceremony, added bonus of symbolisim and of DNA swap in the process.

i wear His mark now, and i am His woman... it's like some great Star Trek episode!
And i dance and dance and dance in my head... twirling ballerina on a never ending music box.
W/we cannot see each other *in person* for the holidays- and while my flesh years for that, my heart will be safe for we are with each other now all the time.






Good Omens
We share a bit of now
and then
and each gave to the other first
and last

Footprints side by side
in different worlds
mirroring each other
walking full circle

With sage, and bone,
and tears and life
listening
to the Eagle
and the Bear
walking paths that led us
here
to the end of the days

Blood coral
and sterling
Your DNA in mine
Your need in my hand
my future in Yours

i read the cards
and You scent the air
i expose myself
and You still care

Your trust pierces my skin
O/ours alone
marks me to the world
as Yours
O/ours alone
pins me like a butterfly
to Your breast

You are forever in me now
one ritual at a time
One trust for a life
and when i read the clouds
i see Good Omens.

Today is Winter Solstice!

( Cleansing my spirits )



( Someday soon, goin' with Him someday soon... )

"Don't Jump!" they yelled
up through the sky
as she stood on the precipiece above
swaying
"Don't do it!" they called from the safety of the pavement
frantically watching
the lonely figure on the edge
looking down
"Stop and think!" the crowd mewled,
begging notes of anxiety
their words laced in surety
eyes shielded from the brightness and the sun
their own fears uppermost
in their admonishments
"NOOOOO!" they cried in unison
watching her lean forward
head into the wind
looking up.

As she stepped off to find the sky
They did not see the beginnings of her wings.


Dec. 18th, 2009
In His care, His pet, shadow

i want to thank everyone who has attended the Southern Cross "Usual Suspects' munches this year at Coco's.
We have almost outgrown the room (we have had standing room only crowds this fall and winter), and met so many wonderful new people that have become SX'ers- it's been so very pleasing to me that we can offer a warm space where people feel so comfortable.

We are not gathering Christmas Day at the munch on the 25th (they are closed) but WILL be there for New Year's Day 2010 to kick off the next decade with a BANG.

To each of you, but most especially my leather family and good friends / SX staffers Steve, B & H, Trollup, Miss Courtney, Miss Vicki, elfin, Miss Julie, Zan, Anthony, Dave, Bellaballanda,Unk, Mistress Alix, Greg, Greg, and greg (Darrel and my other brother Darell), and a whole host of regulars that are too many to mention, i want to say THANK YOU for making SX the safe, fun, comfortable place for so many people to find their bliss, make a friend, have a laugh, and support each other.


May all Your Christmas's be white, and all Your wishes come true.

Love,
His pet, in His care, shadow.

He went on Fetlife, then He friended me, then He POSTED on my stuff. He's overwhelmed and out of time and happier than He thinks He has ever been in His life, all cause of me. i have never had worse money problems nor felt happier every single second of my life. If this were a television series (Think "Buffy" or "Medium") this would be the time that either i would be stricken with inoperable cancer or He would get run down by a bus or i would be killed painfully and slowly by a demon from our collective past. But that won't happen, because we are destined for this, we are written on the stars, we are Old Souls that have been tortured in our own ways for our lives and now we get the happy ending if we are very very lucky. i have a serious problem focusing on anything else- but i will,  because that is a service to Him, to take care of this home and this life i have built (and apparently kinda trashed) and make it right until He can take it over and care for me. We have lived on the wheel of life, and have reached the Nobel Worlds. We have walked many nights to be here, drawn back together at sacred waters. Both of U/us have talked long on what this sparks in O/our souls, what W/we feel. We are the lucky ones, and now, we are balanced and whole.

Here i am, finished a short walk, raked the leaves, did the kid thing, laundry, and half way through 1/4 of the mess that is my bedroom, and all of a sudden the chest gets heavy, the sweats show up, it's easy to feel dizzy and i really do NOT want to be in this body.

Fuck, how am i supposed to get anything done if the damned thing keeps betraying me?
Cold sores, back aches, eye issues, skin cancers, this constant shit in my chest.
i will NOT give in. This is a long hard road here, and if i end up hospitalized, (no insurance!) well hell, at least i will reach my goals.
Meanwhile, going through the drawers, i found some lingerie that i had not seen since 03. yeah- it actually fits although it looks different now.
But it's nice to know that i still look hot in those bits and pieces.

Stupid body. Can't catch a break.

What we pay as a nation right now in overage costs will fund a government option, cost LESS, and provide better care. Our nation's LEADERS and our Presidents use it- why can't we all?